clussy: ɪᴄᴏɴ ʙʏ ɪᴄᴏɴsꜰᴏʀʙɪᴛᴄʜᴇs (ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ) (ι'νє вєєη тнє ρяєу)
eddie kaspbrak ([personal profile] clussy) wrote in [personal profile] litup 2019-11-05 10:08 pm (UTC)

wow ok this got fucking long and sappy lmafao

(At first Eddie's hesitant to respond himself, but of all people in the world who deserved to maybe be able to better understand what being in real love felt like? It was Beverly. So Eddie takes a soft breath and tries his very best.

Because he would try for Beverly. For a Loser.)


Your heart decides it's different. sorry I know that's really cheesy and Im not trying to say oh you know when you know! like im not gonna be able to tell you what it's like when you fall in love because i honestly dont remember that part. it's just always been how it is.

you categorize them differently in your head.
like i mean whenever you go to describe your friends and you get to them your brain comes up short because the word "friend" doesn't really work out how you want it to
you feel like you're underselling what you're describing and you don't want people to misintrepret how much you care
and i wont lie
love is different for everyone so i wont sit here and tell you you should look at what im saying as an exact word-for-word ideal as to how YOU might feel love
but i am saying that it might help you understand

you dont stop being someones friend because youre in love with them and thats where it's easy to get lost because in your head they're always the friend first but then the person you love and then you get to the realization that like
that's the whole package. you can be in love with all those things at once. be in love with them being your friend and then be in love with them being something more and then just being in love with THEM and everything they do
and it's easy

it's actually realy easy to feel that commitment when you do. like i dont know. it's a selfless feeling. like with friends oyu're always gonna want to be friends FOREVER
but with the person you love
as long as they're in your life it's enough
it's almost? somehow more selfless because you wind up not caring so much about BEING with them
i mean you do but
it wont kill you if youre not if it still means they can be happy and you can see them being happy

and i guess. you always get stuck on how they make you feel. you get stuck on random memories with them and start thinking about how they look at you or how they touched your hand one time or how they always seem to want to make you laugh more than other people. stuff like that.
and you realize you're not really so worried about OTHER people and how THEY look at you
at least not in the same way.

and that doesnt necessarily mean you're in love- hyper focusing on shit like that but it can mean you're seeing some sort of shape thats similar to love. crushes i guess.
i dont know shit about crushes tho lol


(...........Despite what Eddie just said. He also doesn't really consider his feeling as a "crush" though. That word felt...underwhelming somehow.)


people are fucking idiots. that's because people think that girls and boys are always falling in love with each other or wanting to fuck when they dont realize that a lot of girls and boys just know how to love the parts of each other that have NOTHING to do with any of that stuff
people get so good at convincing themselves of how relationships are supposed to work
dont let people tell you you cant love us
or make you feel ashamed for loving us
because you can. and you dont need to be told it MUST mean theres some part of you that wants all of us or
that we want you in that way

because thats rEaly fucked up
it's also like super fucking invalidating to each of us and our own feelings

people hate platonic love because a lot of people dont HAVE it so they want to break the platonic love they DO see
it's fucked

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